


Girl I Love Your Crooked Smile.

by noboobookitty



Category: Empire (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, how do I tag this?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3431768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noboobookitty/pseuds/noboobookitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Last night was, was a fluke that should not be repeated. It’s bad for business and as of today I’m closed for business” She said while watching Lucious carefully. They both knew that was a lie, would Cookie ever be closed to Lucious? Probably not.<br/>~~~<br/>AU in which Anika didn't catch Lucious and Cookie. Secrets aren't meant to be kept forever but what do you do when letting her go was the biggest mistake you've ever made and you're just realizing it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arriving at Empire the next day was something out of those stupid movies Cookie tried to avoid. Sneaking out of Lucious’s bed before he woke up wasn’t one of her brightest moments but honestly could you blame her? What other choice did she have stay and make him breakfast? Ha!

Strutting into the Empire building was always something she loved to do but, today felt different…weird almost. As if something was going to happen. Trying to shake off the feeling of unease she walked into her office ready to forget what happened last night.

Glaring at the papers on the edge of her desk she made a mental note to ask Porsha to sort and file them before sending her assistant a text to bring coffee and something to eat.

 Putting her phone down she began tapping her fingers against the desk she wondered what she needed to do. Jamal wouldn’t be coming in until later when his recording session was scheduled and Elle had been checked into a rehab facility and Tiana would be MIA while working on a new single for her album.

Cookie sighed as her mind began to drift. She could still feel where Lucious touched her and his scent lingered in her hair. Last night was something, something she should not have done yet something she knew she would do again without a doubt no questions asked. However Lucious was not and still isn’t the ideal man for any woman to love. He’s sneaky conniving and down-right horrible at times and, the fact that he is engaged to Boo Boo Kitty made the whole situation worse because the Kitty is a snake and snakes always bite when you’re least expecting them to.

Before Cookie could get deeper in her thoughts her office door swung open. “Porsha I don’t know how many times I have to tell you not to open my door like you own-“ Cookie cut off mid-sentence as her eyes met Lucious’s.

His eyes were a whirlwind of emotions that she wanted to avoid. However when it came to things such as this.

‘ _There was no avoiding him when he wants something, you’d think he’d out of all people know what a booty call ditch it_ ’. She thought bitterly He couldn’t even give her a day to hide away? To regain the mind she lost last night.

Raising her brow she leaned back in her chair. “What do you want Lucious?” She asked while trying to ignore the way he was staring at her.

He didn’t talk right away, instead Lucious pulled the chair in front of her desk and sat on it. “You left so fast this morning. Never knew you could crawl out of a bed so quietly.” He said as reached to touch her hand. “I thought we were above you waiting until I was sleep to leave. You could’ve woken me, I would have had one of the maids cook breakfast. You didn’t have to run. Anika won’t be home tonight and the only people in the house beside us were the maids and security” he said running his fingers on Cookie’s wrist.

“I didn’t run Lucious. It’s just not good for me or you to be sleeping around in the bed you share with your…fiancé.” She said spitting the word out as if it offended her. Moving her hand out of his reach she tried to signify with her face she was not amused.

Lucious raised a brow but did not reply.

“Last night was, was a fluke that should not be repeated. It’s bad for business and as of today I’m closed for business” She said while watching Lucious carefully. They both knew that was a lie, would Cookie ever be closed to Lucious? Probably not.

“A fluke you say?” Lucious started his voice deep from anger? Annoyance? Arousal?  The latter was all Cookie still high off of last nights activities.

“That passion, that love, I had you and you had me and you can’t tell me it wasn’t better than old times. And we had lots of amazing times back in the day” Lucious said as he looked into her eyes as if he could see the thoughts running through her head.

He was always doing that looking at her as if he already knew how his words were affecting her and honestly it scared her because if anyone could read her it was Lucious.

Cookie chuckled dryly. “Thinking about old times while you’re in a relationship just spells trouble for you and, I can’t focus on this right now Lucious, I need to work on Jamal’s stuff, and you got a wedding to plan.”

“Can you stop bringing that up?” Lucious asked sounding fully annoyed as if it was Cookie’s fault he’s getting married.

“You would like that wouldn’t you? You want me to sit back and let you and Miss Kitty run this business, plan your wedding and, continue to fuck me with all this ‘passion’ you think we have?” She questioned her annoyance seeping into her tone.

Lucious looked confused as if he hadn’t taking her feelings into consideration. Typical. Well whatever he would have to learn to deal with them if he ever wanted this box opened to him.

“Look Lucious as much as I would _love_ to have this talk about why last night happened, we are at work and I do have a job to do, Jamal should be here in an hour and I still have other things to do concerning his album so…” She said letting her sentence trail off looking at him with a raised brow.

“We’ll finish this later” He said before standing up and giving her one last glance before leaving her office.

~

Recording with Jamal was like recording with his father. They’re so similar when it comes to writing and performing their songs that watching Jamal is like a blast to the past.

Sitting beside the music technician Cookie watched as Jamal began to sing a song he wrote about his break up with Michael.

Jamal’s voice was cracking with emotion by the time he hit the second verse and Cookie was nodding along with tears in her eyes.

The music cut and Cookie spoke through the speaker. “That was amazing baby, let’s keep that and we’ll pick back up tomorrow?” She asked as she watched Jamal take the headphones off.

“Is the day after tomorrow fine? I’m going to take Lola to the children’s museum you know? Going to try to start spending more time with her.” Jamal said with a slight smile on his face.

Cookie nodded “That’s good it’ll give me time to relax, go and have fun with your daughter.” She replied with a smile reserved only for her kids (though it might as well be Jamal’s smile since he’s the only one that receives it).

~

Being stressed was no fun. Being stressed at home was even worse. However being stressed at home was way easier than being stressed at jail.

Not having many options to calm yourself down was stifling and not being able to take a nice long bubble bath with scented candles was hell.

But because she had the option she decided why not and ran her a nice hot bubble bath with scented candles on the counter.

Closing her eyes as she sank deeper into the water she let the heat relax her stiff muscles. Breathing slowly cookie was almost asleep before the loud shrill of her ring tone shook her awake.

Rolling her eyes to the heavens she decided to ignore it. Whoever was calling could leave a message this was Cookie time.

The person on the other end didn’t seem to get the message however because not even a minute later the phone was ringing again and again.

‘ _What the hell do they want?’_ she thought angrily as she stood from her cooling bath and wrapped a towel around her.

Cookie walked into her room where her phone lay and checked it. Six missed calls from Lucious. She sighed loudly, did he really want to talk about this now? She shrugged, she wasn’t going to call him back. He’s persistent but she’s stubborn and in the battle of the wills she usually won.

Vowing to ignore the rest of his calls for the night Cookie began to dress for bed and was brushing her hair when the doorbell rang.

Checking the time and knowing it could only be one person she pursed her lips and went to open the door.

And there looking every bit like a Lion eying his prey up Lucious stood with a slight smirk on his face.

“It’s time we finish this talk Cookie.”

~


	2. Lucious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is going to be in Lucious P.O.V I won't switch from Cookie's all the time but I figured you should at least get a little in sight into what Lucious thinks.

Lucious Lyon was many things but, patient was not one of them. Waiting for something he wanted was never something he strived to do, especially since he had all the resources at his disposal to get anything and almost anyone he wanted.

Cookie was the enigma. She refused to bend to his will and even with the odds stacked against her she always found a way to power through and be on top.  Her attitude matched his want to succeed more than Anika’s ever will because, no matter how hard she tries Anika could never do the things Cookie could.

Which brought up a whole new dilemma…Anika. Leaning back in his chair as his hand played with a pen he pondered last night. Last night was real, raw, and honestly the best sex he’s had in a very long time. Waking up alone was a shock for Lucious. Usually it’s him that sneaks off without a trace leaving his paramour satiated and asleep.

The tables were turned on him however and he found himself yearning for Cookie’s warm embrace. She left so fast that when he went to the security room to delete evidence that she had even spent the night he found himself watching the tapes with a small smile on his face.

Lucious sighed, trying to focus on the papers he had on his desk. It was useless to try and focus, because his mind kept wandering to Cookie and their brief discussion in her office. He expected her anger of course, that was always something he braced himself for when dealing with Cookie but, with this situation it seemed more personal than the other times she chewed him out.

Groaning loudly Lucious rolled his eyes. He was starting to sound like a bitch with all these emotions and trying to identify why he felt this way. This wasn’t him, Lucious Lyon does not get overwhelmed over no pussy…or that’s what he told himself.

“Yo you okay Pops?” Hakeem asked as he strolled into Lucious office. He looked at his father as if he was trying to identify the cause of his father’s groan. The revelation of his disease made all his sons wary and even Jamal and sent a text asking if he was okay.

Lucious sighed and looked at his youngest. “Just, thinking about a conversation I have to have with you mother.” He said off handedly as if he wasn’t going to go and have her see if they can make whatever it is he wants them to have work.

Hakeem nodded and looked at his father. “I’ve been writing and I have this song that’s going to be a hit…but I need Jamal. I know he could come up with a chorus that’ll make this song even better but, our beef is here and there. You know? Like we can’t get in the studio by ourselves because we argue. But I’m telling you dad this record is going to be hot. I know it is I can feel it.” Hakeem said talking with his hands as he tried to convey to Lucious just how hot he thinks this track is going to be.

Lucious rubbed his chin. “You know the only way you’re going to get Jamal is if your mother agrees without her approval Jamal won’t do anything with you. Perhaps I’m not the right one you should be talking to just yet. Me and Jamal…don’t exactly see eye to eye and, Cookie is his manager so, if you want Jamal to write and be on your song your best bet is to go through your mother .” He finished waiting for his youngest son’s response.

Hakeem’s relationship with his mother was barely cordial to say the least. Seeing as he was too young to really remember Cookie and, too hard headed to want to know her more often than not them in the same room led to Cookie yelling at him trying to get the respect Hakeem wasn’t trying to give.

However Lucious would be lying if he said he wasn’t amused at the way Hakeem and Cookie interacted. It was entertaining to watch her snap at someone as much as she snaps at him.

Hakeem nodded and shrugged. “Aight, I’ll go see Jamal and then…Cookie?” He said her name question like as if he didn’t know what he should refer to his mother as.

Raising a brow Lucious shook his head and watched his son leave his office before staring at the reports in front of him. Time to get to work.

~

It was around two when Anika came to the office. She was wearing a dark green short sleeve dress with nude pumps.

“Hey Babe.” She said as she walked in with a smile.

Lucious forced a smile on his face. “How was the trip? Were you able to meet all of Lana’s demands?” He asked leaning forward onto his desk.

Leaning forward Anika dropped a kiss on his forehead before replying “It went good. Her lawyer is a nice man who had everything she wanted outlined. The flight was smooth and I slept like a baby.” She said before sitting on the edge of his desk.

“We should go somewhere tonight” Anika said with a small smile moving her shoulders in excitement. “I was thinking that Italian place you like to go?”

Lucious looked at Anika and sighed before responding acting as if he was sorry he was going to have to cancel plans for the evening. “I would love to Anika but, Cookie is still giving me trouble about Jamal’s album and we had this argument and she went home. I don’t want her to go with Puma and get another song that’s ill-fitted for Jamal so I have to speak with her.” He said lying smoothly.

Anika rolled her eyes. “I don’t see why you don’t get rid of her, she’s not that much of a help. More of a hindrance, something this company doesn’t need. You really don’t need the stress that comes with your jail bird of an ex.”

Lucious rubbed a hand over his face trying to put down the wave of annoyance that washed over him.

“Yeah, well the talk shouldn’t take that long. We just have to hammer this out and I’ll be home.” He replied ignoring Anika’s jab at Cookie.

Looking at Anika he watched as anger flitted through her eyes. Gently grabbing her left hand he touched Cookie’s old ring. Rubbing circles into her hand Lucious brought her hand to his lips and kissed it,

Anika sighed “Just make sure when you go to hash out between you and her for Jamal that you win. I would hate for her to walk in tomorrow all smug” She finished before standing up and adjusting her dress.

Chuckling to himself Lucious replied. “There’s no way she won’t see things the way I see them.” He assured Anika with a self-satisfied smirk as if they were talking about the same thing.

If she only knew…

~

Leaving the building let a whole new sleuth of nerves take over Lucious. When was the last time he had a heart to heart with a woman he wasn’t lying to? Probably before Cookie left to serve her sentence.

Nodding to his driver he hopped in the back of his car before dialing Cookie’s number. It rang until it went to voicemail.

Glaring at his phone he wondered what the hell had Cookie so busy that she wasn’t answering his call.

“Take me to Cookie’s place” He told his driver who nodded and started the car as he began to call her again and again.

~

The drive didn’t take long but, Lucious found himself waiting in the driveway. A bucket of nerves tipped over in his stomach as he let himself linger in the car. Steadying himself Lucious got out of the car and walked to the door.

Lucious took a deep breath before ringing the bell.

Cookie didn’t take long to answer the door and when she did Lucious let his eyes roam up and down her pajama clad body.

“It’s time we finish this talk Cookie” He said letting his voice drop an octave as he said her name reveling in the automatic shiver her body had when he said her name.

Cookie opened the door and walked away, leaving Lucious to close and lock the door. Cookie sat down on her couch and gave him a searching look to which Lucious raised a brow to.

Lucious didn’t say anything at first. Instead he put his hands in his pockets and began to slowly walk around her living room.

“You know when I pictured you coming back I never thought it would be like this…” He started making sure his eyes avoided her. “I never expected me to want you as bad as I do now. Probably more than I ever have” He said letting his words linger in the air. Hoping that dropping his voice to a deeper octave would stop her from getting mad.

“You got some nerve Lucious” Cookie said sounding every bit annoyed. “Rolling up here acting like you give a damn about me, when really you don’t know what you want. And let me tell you I’m not Miss Kitty you can’t control me nor can you play me with soft words and kisses. I know you and I know your game because, guess who the main character in it is? Me.”

Lucious turned and looked at the scowling woman. “I didn’t come here to fight with you or to talk about her. I came here tonight because I need to know where this is going Cooks.” He paused and walk towards Cookie stopping when he was right in front of her.

“I need to know if you’re going to let me invest time into…this no, into us.” He said looking her directly in the eyes.

Like a forming storm he watched as eyes filled with emotion like she was trying to decide just how to react to what he said.

Cookie’s lip curled and she glared at Lucious. “You want me, to tell you that I’m going to let you continue to cheat on Boo Boo Kitty with me and if so just how much you should invest yourself into the affair?” She questioned sounding fully annoyed.

“You know I was wrong earlier Lucious when I said you got some nerve.” She started as she stood up. Without her heels on she had to look up slightly so she can maintain eye contact. “What I should’ve said is you’ve lost your goddamn mind. You honestly think I’m going to be the other woman in you and Anika’s relationship?” She asked while poking a finger to the side of his head. Her eyes looking directly at him. “Well listen here closely Lucious Lyon, I don’t play second so if you want this…” Cookie paused before trailing her hand down his suit jacket. “You’re going to have to make up your mind and, I need you to think long and hard about this decision…because I won’t wait around forever. I deserve better and both of us know that.”

There was a pause and he just stared at Cookie in awe. There was emotion on her face that he hadn’t seen in years. Her eyes were a bit watery and he thought she would cry. Instead she looked at him unblinking, she was serious and even her body language portrayed that. Standing tall and confident unwilling to abandon her stance.

“It isn’t fair to me nor to that child you call a fiancé.” Cookie said a bit quieter than her earlier words. “You obviously need time to come to a decision. You have a month. After that, we can’t happen again. I mean it Lucious” She finished.

Lucious nodded “A month…alright” He said slowly stroking his index finger against her cheek trying desperately to ignore the feeling of unease in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I did not think this chapter was going to be that long. 2002 word and almost 5 pages. I hope you guys like it! Also how did I write Hakeem? I just can't see him calling Cookie momma after getting together with Camille cause that's just...wrong? Also you'll be seeing more of Anika so yeah! Thanks for reading :D


	3. Chapter 3

Being at the Empire building and knowing just what Lucious was thinking over was nerve wrecking. Why? Because Cookie knew the man she had fell in love with back in the ghetto who didn’t have anything but a love for music and, because she now knew the same man who is now a multi-millionaire whose main concern lay centered around making sure this company will last forever.

Cookie’s manicured nails touched the soundboard as she began adjusting the background in the song Jamal recorded yesterday. It was too loud and the sound was starting to swallow up the song. She was so into making sure the song sounded right that she missed the sound of the door opening and closing.

“Um…can we talk?” A voice called out making Cookie jump in fear. Turning her head she raised a brow as she looked at the nervous face of her youngest. Nodding to Hakeem she turned the speaker on and told Jamal to take twenty.

Jamal walked out the recording booth and looked between Hakeem and his mother. His eyes scrunched up as if he was trying to see just what Hakeem was up to.

“You sure you can handle him?” Jamal asked as if he wasn’t sure he should leave them alone together.

Hakeem sighed loudly “Come on ‘Mal she’s my mother too I aint going to do anything but, talk to her” He said full of attitude and annoyance that his motives were being questioned.

“I got this Jamal, go while I talk to your brother.” Cookie said while waving a hand at Jamal dismissively.

Cookie sat back in her chair while watching Hakeem gather himself to say what he wanted to say. It gave her a chance to study her youngest. He was honestly the most like her whether he knew it or not. He had her mother’s smile and her sister’s nose. And regardless of what he may think his stubborn attitude was none of Lucious and all of her.

“I’ve been writing, my own things…from the heart, like you said and I got this song. It’s so dope and I’m almost done with it” Hakeem started before sitting down in the chair beside his mom. “I know it can be a hit but, I need someone to sing on it and, I know Jamal can kill it.” He finished looking at Cookie watching as her face took on that no bullshit face she reserved for business happenings.

“You want Jamal to be featured on another track with you? I don’t know if that’s the best thing for your brother Hakeem.” Cookie said remembering the struggle she had with getting them to perform at the IPO event, she couldn’t even imagine the hell she would have to go through to have both of her babies act right and do whatever song Hakeem wrote.

Hakeem sucked his teeth in and sighed loudly thoroughly annoyed. “See that’s the problem you always thinking about Jamal! What about me? Huh? It’s like when you got locked up you forgot about everyone except Jamal. The letters you wrote to him. You know how much it sucks when Jamal gets a letter almost every week, Andre gets a letter every other week and you know what I got? Not a damn thing.” Hakeem started his frustration bleeding through his voice.

“You’d defend Jamal with your last breath. You give him compliments on the daily, yet you claim you love us all the same? If this is how you show equal love Imma let you know it aint equal and it sure don’t feel like no type of love I want. Hell at times Lucious is softer then you.” Hakeem finished sounding out of breath.

Cookie stared at her youngest, with the look of hurt on her face. She never wanted any of her children to believe she favored one over the others. She didn’t, it was just easier to connect with Jamal because he always took to her, even as a baby, he was always the one that was easily comforted by her presence.

“Hakeem I have loved you since the day I found out about you it was hard knowing that by the time I got out my baby wouldn’t be a baby more. You were always in my mind and my heart while I was locked up. My biggest regret was not being there throughout any part of your childhood…I love just as much as Jamal if not more because you are my baby. ” She said grabbing Hakeem’s hand squeezing it.

“I don’t want you to ever question my love for you because I would do anything in my power to make sure you’re happy and safe. You just got to let me in. Hakeem.” Cookie said her voice taking on a pleading tone. She wasn’t one to beg but, this was her baby and she wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that her youngest felt as if she didn’t care for him.

Hakeem shrugged. Dealing with feelings especially those centered on his mother was awkward and even voicing those feelings took a lot but, hearing his mother sound raw calmed his anger towards her a bit, though he’d still be cautious around her it was calming to know she cared.

“I’ll try” Hakeem said after a stretch of silence and Cookie nodded.

Things weren’t going to change overnight but a little change is always better than no change. Besides Cookie’s waited seventeen years, what’s a couple of months?

~

Anika stared at the man in front of her. It was like an overnight metamorphosis when Cookie came. His attitude towards her changed and he started to value her opinion.

“What’s up with you?” She asked trying to sound light and concerned. Her eyes following him as he walked around their closet.

He paused shrugging “Nothing babe just there’s a lot going on.” He replied vaguely.

Anika glared at his back, her mind racing. She knew she was losing him, she could feel him pulling away being distant. She needed something, something that would keep this man from leaving.

“I…I got something to tell you” She said trying to sound meek and unsure. Anika watched as Lucious turned to face her.

She lowered her gaze and looked to the ground. “I’ve been feeling…off lately. Lethargic and just out of whack.” She started before moving close to him. “So I went to my doctor and…” She waved towards her stomach trying to look enthusiastic. “Surprise, there’s a baby Lyon in here. I know this wasn’t planned but I feel as if God gave this to me for a reason.” She finished with a small smile on her face, watching Lucious’ eyes widened.

He looked shocked and inwardly Anika couldn’t help but feel proud of herself.

“Are you sure?” He asked in a cracked voice overcome with emotion as he stepped toward her. Anika nodded not trusting herself to speak and let herself be pulled into Lucious’ embrace wondering just how she was going to pull this off.

~

Cookie stared at her phone in shock? Horror? Disbelief? Hurt?

Her heart was pounding and in a moment of anger she threw her phone across her room. Tears filled her eyes as she leaned against her headboard.  It was like her body new her heart was breaking as shivers began to rock her body.

Her mind knew she shouldn’t be surprised but, try telling that to her heart, the heart that still skipped a beat when he called her name. Her stupid heart that called for the one man that was constantly building her up and then breaking her down and, logically she knew there was always a chance he would choose Anika but, she felt that it was so small that she didn’t prepare for what she would do if he did.

 So Cookie felt foolish, unprepared, and downright hurt.

Once again Lucious had played her like a fiddle and she was alone trying to pick up what he’s broken. Like a never ending cycle this happened over and over again. So the question is, why hasn’t she learned her lesson?

 

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do Anika Justice? She was honestly the hardest one to write and, I can honestly say I have a love hate relationship with Lucious' character. Like he has so much potential to be a good person and its frustrating. But thanks for reading! :D


	4. Chapter 4

_Life is like a big merry-go-round,_

_You're up and then down,_

_Going in circles trying to get to where you are._

~

Going to Empire was something Cookie planned to avoid for the rest of the week. She needed some time to regroup and build up the energy to pretend like his decision didn’t bother her, when in reality it changed her whole world.

So after getting up and finding her phone she sent a text to Porsha letting her know that she had the rest of the week off and sent a text to Becky to let Lucious know she was taking the week off.

The big question now was.

What to do next?

In jail there was this class given to those who wanted to take it called ‘it’s time to heal’ and was headed by psychologists and volunteers. They were given life lessons and once a week they had one on one sessions with a therapist who worked both inside and out of the jail. And on the eve of her release Cookie was given one of the therapist’s number with instructions to call whenever she felt lost, confused or alone.

Perhaps it was time to call her, to get her mind right she owes it to herself.

~

Cookie looked around the therapist’s office with a look of annoyance. She always hated the overly welcoming look of psychologist’s offices. Even during lock up when they had these small offices within the jail they always seemed to try too hard to get you to relax.

Dr. Bell’s real office was no different. It was painted a light yellow and there were picture of the beach lining walls that weren’t covered in her credentials.

The therapist looked at Cookie with a searching eye. “Why are you here today Cookie? I didn’t think I would see you in my office again. What changed?” She asked in a soft voice.

Shrugging her shoulders she let out a soft sigh before trying to reply. “I’ve got a lot going on. Got a lot of stress and it’s eating me Dr. Bell” She said after a pause.

Doctor Bell crossed her legs, tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned back. “Eating you? Are you not sleeping?” She questioned trying to get Cookie to explain what she meant.

Cookie let out a dry laugh. “I sleep alright, it’s what I wake up to that’s killing me…” She paused not really knowing what to say.

Doctor Bell looked down at her clip board with all the papers Cookie had to fill out ordered neatly on it. “You wrote here that you’re in contact with your ex-husband. Tell me about him. When did you first meet the man who in your own writing you say has been a main character in your life since you were thirteen?

Cookie nodded and shifted in her seat. Her past with Lucious has always been one of those things she’d rather not talk about.

“When we first met, Lucious was going through some things. You got to understand when we was growing up we had this storm going through our hood. Her name was crack and she was hitting people up like crazy.

~

_“The Junkies come out at night” Whispered Cookie as she peeked through the blinds of her window. Momma had already left for work and gave her and her sister strict instructions not to leave the lights on._

_Their neighbors were robbed last week by some of those freaks on drugs and ever since Cookie’s mom has had the apartment on lock down._

_They weren’t allowed to go outside unless Bunkie was with them and since he was at home in trouble, Cookie amused herself by watching the junkies stumble about outside._

_Her eyes fell to a lady who was laughing loudly on a bench with a man who looked far less amused than her. She was too far to make out her words but Cookie could tell she was high by the sluggish movements of her body._

_Cookie watched the lady for a little while longer and was about to turn and go to bed when a guy caught her eye._

_He looked no older than her and he was walking quickly to the laughing lady on the bench. She watched as he tried to get her to leave? Perhaps the lady was his mother, maybe even a sister. But by the looks of it, lady looked unamused and the boy looked on the verge of tears._

_Cookie bit her lip. She shouldn’t be watching this. It was none of her business but, who was going to tell on her? Her snoring sister?_

_With a slight smile she focused her attention on the scene in front of her. Her curious brown eyes watched as the lady pushed the boy away. Yelling several curse words before stumbling off with the man on the bench leaving the boy by himself._

_Cookie watched as the boy sat down with his head in his hands and if she looked closely she could see a shaking of his shoulders. Was he crying? A wave of sympathy rushed through her and before she knew it she was throwing on her jacket slipping on a pair of worn out shoes and out the door._

_Walking towards the bench she felt nervous all of a sudden but, she couldn’t really think of her nerves now because she was directly in front of the boy who had yet to lift his head._

_“Are you okay?” She asked trying not to sound too concerned just in case he snapped at her._

_The boy lifted his head and his hazel eyes filled with tears met her brown ones. He gave her a suspicious look before nodding._

_Cookie pursed her lips and tilted her head. “Well you don’t look okay. Why are you out here? Don’t you got some place to stay?” She questioned._

_The boy glared at her but, she glared right back and after a while his glare softened and he shook his head._

_“My mom’s a dope fiend and forgot to pay rent. I tried to get her so she could take us to my grandma’s house but she left with Funk and, told me I’d be fine.” The boy said not even having to elaborate. Everyone round the block knew Funk was the main supplier for drugs on this part of town and more often than not woman who couldn’t pay in cash paid in another way._

_Cookie felt a wave of sympathy wash over her. “You can sleep in my place…if you want my momma don’t come home until morning and my sister sleeps like the dead.” She said with a small smile hoping._

_The boy shot her a confused look. “You don’t even know my name, or if I’m even telling the truth.” He replied watching as Cookie shrugged._

_“Well what’s your name? I’m Cookie.” She said nonchalantly shooting him a smile._

_“I’m Lucious” He said after a short pause watching as Cookie stuck out her hand. Watching her face he reached his hand out and stood up and let her lead him to her apartment._

_Cookie opened the front door softly and put a finger to her lips and began to walk quietly to her room with Lucious following after her._

_When they reached her room she closed the door and motioned to her bed. “You can sleep there. I’ll take the floor.” She whispered and when Lucious opened his mouth to protest she shook her head. “You need the bed more than I do.” She said with a note of finality in her voice._

~

Cookie finished her story and watched as the therapist wrote on her papers.

“It’s stupid right Doctor Bell? I’ve been looking out for this man since we were kids and I’m not even sure if he sees me. Even when we married it was like his main focus was his music and mine, was making sure his dream came true.” She said as the therapist finished writing.

“Perhaps that’s the root of your problem. You don’t focus on your wants or needs. You put him in front of what you need and they when something happens that shakes your standing with him you break down. Because answer this. Just who is Cookie Lyon without Lucious Lyon?” Doctor Bell asked while, studying Cookie’s reaction

Cookie sat still pondering over the question. Who was she, without him? Did she even have her own identity?

After a pregnant pause Cookie shrugged. “I don’t know right know Dr. Bell, but I’m going to figure it out.” She said with a hint of determination.

The doctor was right. She wouldn’t be able to fully get over this hold he has on her, until she is able to make herself her own identity away from Lucious Lyon.

Doctor Bell nodded. “Good and as you go about trying to figure yourself out I would like for you to keep coming back here, it’ll do you well and you always benefit from having someone to talk to.”

Cookie nodded and rolled her eyes before gathering her stuff.

“I’ll see you next week.” She said throwing a short wave before walking out of the office with her head up, mustering the self-confidence she channels into her every action at Empire.

Hopping in her car she closed the door before resting her head on the steering wheel. “This is going to be fun.” She muttered sarcastically before starting the car.

~

Lucious sat in his office going through the security detail he put on Cookie. He regretted sending the text as soon as he did but the damage was already done. Part of him was actually looking forward to seeing her so he could explain why.

But when she didn’t call him, or show up to work mad Lucious worried. It was never a good thing when Cookie decided to ignore you.

So he did the only thing he could do after Becky told him Cookie came down with something and wouldn’t be at Empire for several days. Sent a security detail after her.

Under strict instructions not to interact with her, they were to follow her and document where she goes. Just to make sure she was…okay? Even though he knows she isn’t he didn’t want her to do anything rash. It’s a precaution…for his sons.

Or that’s what he told himself.

Lucious has never been one to apologize even when he’s clearly wrong and this situation would be no different. Why? Because Cookie always comes back. She was his constant she wasn’t allowed to leave him.

Covering his face with his hand Lucious let out a frustrated sigh. He needed to focus on business, the baby problem and Cookie can wait he has a business to run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so curious about Both Cookie and Lucious' background that I decided to write how they met? I mean I feel as if the reason Lucious is so twisted but wants a functioning family is because he didn't really have one. Also flashbacks are fun to write! Therapists however are not! 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading! I'll try to update soon. :D

**Author's Note:**

> Okay Okay don't shoot me but, first chapters are always awkward right? How did you like it? I have so much planned for this story and I'm so freaking excited to write it. Tell me your thoughts, questions, and concerns. Also I will try to have a semi normal update schedule so you guys won't be hanging.


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